Funny

Top 10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer!

Number 10:
When they ask, "How are you today?" -- tell them!
Say something like... "I'm so glad you asked because no one there days seems to care,
and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."
You get the idea.

Number 9:
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

Number 8:
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my goodness, Judy, how have you been?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the heck she could possibly know you from.

Number 7:
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan,
reply in as sinister a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

Number 6:
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
and you could sure use some money.

Number 5:
Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest"
and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

Number 4:
After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your
credit card number to a complete stranger.

Number 3:
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them
if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back.
When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number,
you say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?"
The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

Number 2:
Insist that the caller is really your buddy, Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

And last but not least...
Number 1:
Tell them to talk v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y,
because you want to write every word of your conversation down.

News

A distraught north Queensland family threw chairs at a 5m python in a fruitless attempt to stop it devouring their pet chihuahua. The snake stalked the silky terrier-cross late Monday night, eventually settling down to consume the dog on the veranda of Daniel Peric's Kuranda home as his two horrified children watched, The Cairns Post reported. When snake experts arrived to remove the non-venomous reptile, all that could be seen of the dog was its tail and back legs.

"We'd had the dog about five years, so it was part of the family," Mr Peric said to the newspaper.

All the story here http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=384686

“The nectarine, and curious peach,
Into my hands themselves do reach;
Stumbling on melons, as I pass,
Ensnared with flowers, I fall on grass.”



Andrew Marvell

“Training is everything.
The peach was once a bitter almond;
cauliflower is nothing
but cabbage with a college education.”

Mark Twain quotes

Health

I guess these people haven't heard of Workplace Health and Safety

Joke

I just couldn't resist putting this in I think it's just so funny :-)

Interesting

Peel P50

The worlds smallest production car was built by PEC-The Peel Engineering Company, on The Isle Of Man between 1962 and 1965. The Peel Engineering Company were originally makers of fibre-glass fairings and small boats when they turned their skills into car production.

It was called the Peel P50 and first retailed for £150. It is the only car ever manufactured on the Isle of Man.

The Peel P50 was a three-wheeled microcar manufactured in 1962 by the Manx Peel Engineering Company, retailing for £150 when new.^[1] It was designed as a town car and was advertised as capable of seating "one adult and a shopping bag". The car currently holds the record for the smallest-ever automobile to go into mass production, at just 134 cm (53 in) long and 99 cm (39 in) wide, with a weight of only 59 kg (132 lb). The vehicle's only door was on its left side, and equipment included a single windscreen wiper, and only one headlight. Standard colours were Daytona White, Dragon Red, and Capri Blue. The prototype for this model was referred to as the Peel P55 Saloon Scooter.

The P50 used a 49 cc DKW engine which gave it a top speed of approximately 61 km/h (38 mph), and was equipped with a three-speed manual transmission that had no reverse gear, although was capable of an impressive 100 mpg (imp) (2.8 L/100 km/83 mpg US).^[2] Consequently, turning in a confined area could only be achieved by pushing, or lifting the car using the handle on the rear and physically pulling it round. Despite its diminutive stature, the Peel P50 is street-legal in the UK. Some of the cars have been exported to other countries outside the UK^[3], although it isn't known whether the cars are street legal in these countries.

As only about twenty Peel P50's survive, originals now command prices in the region of £20,000 to £35,000. However, reproductions produced by enthusiasts sell for about £10,000.^[4]

Funny

Australia

"Come a little closer."

There is a dark and foreboding place where few men dare tread, and where those who do tread speak with indecipherable accents. A place that will rape your Christian soul and be left unquenched, sitting there silently... taunting your soul's now-swollen asshole with its maddening silence - where is your God now?! There's no way that such a hellish, fiendish nexus of putrid rot and agony could exist! Well, it does, and that place is none other than the continent of Australia.

But Australia, some say? Not the home of Kangaroos and Crocodile Dundee! Not the merry, magical land of Fosters beer fountains, Koalas, and effeminate metrosexual fashion that would make Brad Pitt blush.

Thou foul. Thou art deceived by wicked, impure forces! Thou art seduced by dark conjurers whose words are as laced with poison as your beloved Koala's eucalyptus leaves.

A must to read it all here you go http://www.badassoftheweek.com/australia.html

Cant stop laughing me hehe :-)

Funny

Just a few light hearted images hope you enjoy
And a few funny jokes and quotes :-)

 You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out
  with the boys on Wednesday nites, and so does she.

A couple just moved into hotel. And the hotel clerk asks the 
man after helping him with his luggage.

- Anything else? 

- NO, thanks, 

- Maybe, your wife needs something ? 

- Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder. Do you sell greeting 
cards ? 

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

Anatomy is something everybody's got, but sure looks better on a woman.

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'

Art

Second Homepage of Martin Bulinya

This is just a small taste of the art in these pages visit and see the beautiful work Really it is worth a visit :-)

http://www.insideafricanart.com/Artists%20Main%20Pages/Bulinya%20Martin2.htm

Fun

How ManyOfMe.com

Don't know what to search for, eh?

It's okay, we're here to help. Here are some suggestions based upon what other people are searching for:

• Your name: The first suggestion is right in the site name. How many people have your name?
• Relatives: Search through your family tree. Search the names of your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or anyone else related to you.
• Nicknames: Does your name not have many (or any) results? If you're using a shortened form of your name (like Will, or Bill), you may get fewer results than you expect. Try using your full name (such as William).
• Baby Names: Is little Junior on the way and you want to make sure he (or she) isn't stuck with the same name as 5 other kids when he gets to preschool? Try the names out here, see how many results you get.
• Famous people: We've got an extensive list, try movie stars, sports heroes, political, scientific, or historic figures. We've got some of each in there.

Give it a try its only for fun :-) Jan

http://howmanyofme.com/search/

History

Sir William Wallace

"Tell your commander that we are not here to make peace, but to do battle to defend ourselves and liberate our kingdom."

William Wallace was a hardcore 13th century freedom fighter who kicked English asses anywhere he could find them and served as a central figure in the First Scottish War of Independence, where he busted motherfuckers’ heads open with a gigantic two-handed broadsword and took no bullshit from anyone, anywhere, at any time, for any reason. He was born the second son of a minor noble, and therefore received precisely jack fucking shit in terms of wealth, land, and power, but in his insane exploits across the lowlands of medieval Scotland would be the sort of shit that towering legends and somewhat-accurate Academy Award-winning historical epics are made of.

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/wallace.html

Health

Anxiety is a normal experience. Moderate or high levels of anxiety can increase alertness and performance in particular situations. However, people who experience continuous or recurring fears, or episodes of intense fear can feel powerless to manage their symptoms and their lives can become severely restricted.

The five major anxiety disorders are Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety (sometimes referred to as Social Phobia), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Other types of disorders are Specific Phobia and Separation Anxiety.

Untreated or unrecognized anxiety disorders can lead to secondary conditions such as agoraphobia, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, or tragically in some cases, suicide.

TABLE 1
Diagnostic Criteria for Social Phobia

---

A. A marked and persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The individual fears that he or she will act in a way (or show anxiety symptoms) that will be humiliating or embarrassing. note: In children, there must be evidence of the capacity for age-appropriate social relationships with familiar people and the anxiety must occur in peer settings, not just in interactions with adults.

B. Exposure to the feared social situation almost invariably provokes anxiety, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed panic attack. note: In children, the anxiety may be expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, or shrinking from social situations with unfamiliar people.

C. The person recognizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable. NOTE: In children, this feature may be absent.

D. The feared social or performance situations are avoided or else are endured with intense anxiety or distress.

E. The avoidance, anxious anticipation, or distress in the feared social or performance situation(s) interferes significantly with the person's normal routine, occupational (academic) functioning or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.

F. In individuals under 18 years of age, the duration is at least six months.

G. The fear or avoidance is not due to the direct physiologic effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition and is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., panic disorder with or without agoraphobia, separation anxiety disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, a pervasive developmental disorder or schizoid personality disorder).

H. If a general medical condition or another mental disorder is present, the fear in Criterion A is unrelated to it; (e.g., the fear is not of stuttering, trembling in Parkinson's disease or exhibiting abnormal eating behavior in anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa.)

TABLE 2 Common Fears in Social Phobia

Public speaking or performing Making "small talk" Small group discussion Asking questions in groups Being introduced Meeting or talking with strangers Being assertive Being watched doing something (e.g., eating, writing) Attending social gatherings Using the telephone Using public restrooms Interacting with "important" people Indirect evaluation (e.g., test taking)

Health

Well so far so good with the new medicine I don’t seem to be having any side affects with it thank goodness

I don’t read the little pamphlet you get with your medicine I see so many people that do and about a few hours after they start the medicine they imagine they have some of the side affects

I always ask the doctor if there any chance they could affect my other medication etc before starting anything

As for my herbal tablets that I take, I do the same there always ask the doctor if the could react differently with my medication

I don’t like taking so much medication but it’s a case of I have to, they consist of a beta blocker, (keeps the old ticker at good rate) thyroxin, (no thyroid) nexium, (for ulcer) and my antidepressants and a few others

My parathyroid was damaged when they removed my thyroid so have to take medicine for that also

Hey I have lots of empty rooms in my body lol :-)

Hope everyone is having a good weekend :-)

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you can't get them back. But friends I will tie to my heart so I never lose them.

Sending a some little balloons to my friends!!!

Joke

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

"To My Dear Wife,You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be back home before midnight."

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

"To My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. About my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you're at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old. As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."

Interesting

Country profile: India

The world's largest democracy and second most populous country has emerged as a major power after a period of foreign rule and several decades during which its economy was virtually closed. A nuclear weapons state, it carried out tests in the 1970s and again in the 1990s in defiance of world opinion. However, India is still tackling huge social, economic and environmental problems.

The vast and diverse Indian sub-continent - from the mountainous Afghan frontier to the jungles of Burma - was under foreign rule from the early 1800s until the demise of the British Raj in 1947. But the subsequent partition of the sub-continent sowed the seeds for future conflict. There have been three wars between India and its arch-rival Pakistan since 1947, two of them over the disputed territory of Kashmir.

A peace process, which started in 2004, has stayed on track despite tension over Kashmir and several high-profile bombings, such as the attack on Mumbai's train network in July 2006 which police blamed on Pakistani militants and a banned Indian group.

Communal, caste and regional tensions continue to haunt Indian politics, sometimes threatening its long-standing democratic and secular ethos.

In 1984 Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was gunned down by her Sikh bodyguards after ordering troops to flush out Sikh militants from the Golden Temple in Amritsar.

And in 1992, widespread Hindu-Muslim violence erupted after Hindu extremists demolished the Babri mosque at Ayodhya.

Independent India's first prime minister, Jawaharlal Nehru, dreamed of a socialist society and created a vast public infrastructure, much of which became a burden on the state.

From the late 1980s India began to open up to the outside world, encouraging economic reform and foreign investment. It is now courted by the world's leading economic and political powers, including its one-time foe China.

The country has a burgeoning urban middle class and has made great strides in fields such as information technology. Its large, skilled workforce makes it a popular choice for international companies seeking to outsource work.

Nuclear tests carried out by India in May 1998 and similar tests by Pakistan just weeks later provoked international condemnation and concern over the stability of the region.

The US quickly imposed sanctions on India, but more recently the two countries have improved their ties, and even agreed to share nuclear technology.

India launches its own satellites and plans to send a spacecraft to the moon. It also boasts a massive cinema industry, the products of which are among the most widely-watched films in the world.

But the vast mass of the rural population remains illiterate and impoverished.

Their lives continue to be dominated by the ancient Hindu caste system, which assigns each person a fixed place in the social hierarchy.

• Full name: Republic of India
• Population: 1.1 billion (UN, 2005)
• Capital: New Delhi
• Most-populated city: Mumbai (Bombay)
• Area: 3.1 million sq km (1.2 million sq miles), excluding Indian-administered Kashmir (100,569 sq km/38,830 sq miles)
• Major languages: Hindi, English and at least 16 other official languages
• Major religions: Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Sikhism, Buddhism, Jainism
• Life expectancy: 62 years (men), 65 years (women) (UN)
• Monetary unit: 1 Indian Rupee = 100 paise
• Main exports: Agricultural products, textile goods, gems and jewellery, software services and technology, engineering goods, chemicals, leather products
• GNI per capita: US $720 (World Bank, 2006)
• Internet domain: .in
• International dialling code: +91
  

Music

Music of Today

Bon Jovi - It's My Life
Destiny's Child - Jumpin' Jumpin'
Dr. Dre - The Next Episode
Eminem - The Way I Am
En Vogue - Riddle
Everclear - Wonderful
Janet Jackson - Doesn't Really Matter
Lee Ann Womack - I Hope You Dance
Limp Bizkit - Counterfeit
Lonestar - What About Now
Mandy Moore - 6 Songs
Nelly - Country Grammer
Next - Wifey
Sisqo - Incomplete
Slipknots - Wait And Bleed
Sting - Desert Rose
Vertical Horizon - You're A God


Music of the 1960's

Hey Jude,- The Beatles
(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction,- The Rolling Stones
Light My Fire,- The Doors
Good Vibrations, -The Beach Boys
Yesterday, -The Beatles
The Twist, -Chubby Checker
I Want To Hold Your Hand, -The Beatles
The House Of The Rising Sun,- The Animals
The Sounds Of Silence, -Simon & Garfunkel
Suspicious Minds, -Elvis Presley
El Paso, -Marty Robbins
My Girl,-The Temptations
Oh, Pretty Woman-, -Roy Orbison
Like A Rolling Stone, -Bob Dylan
(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay,- Otis Redding
Paint It, Black,- The Rolling Stones
Respect,-Aretha Franklin

News

NIU Campus Shooting

A man dressed in black opened fired with a shotgun from the stage of a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University on Thursday before he killed himself, the school's president said. The bloodbath claimed a total of six lives, including the gunman, and another 16 were wounded. The shooter has been identified as 27-year-old Steven Kazmierczak, a former graduate student in sociology, according to university officials.

Another school shooting and they will say this and that about the shooter But no matter what there findings will be It was an evil act he done end of story

Sorry but I have no sympathy for anyone who commits such a terrible crime. No matter what they say he may have had wrong with him Nothing gives anyone the right to commit such an act.

Why couldn't he just shoot himself and leave everyone else alive As usual jut my opinion!

Health

Hi well today I had my check up with the doctor, and he agrees that my antidepressants are not working as they should, so he is changing them.

The only problem is I have to come off the old ones gradually and at same time build up on the new ones I just hope I don’t get mixed up with them

But as long as the new ones work it will be with all the messing about

I will let you know in a week or so if I notice any difference

Below is my daily pill box I have 6 tablets in it for every day, and besides these I take 4 herbal

tablets If they all kick in at the same time no one will be able to keep up with me lol :-)

Quotes

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard:

Today In History

Historical Moments for February 13
In events:

February 13th 1984		6 year old Texan Stormie Jones gets 1st heart & liver transplant
February 13th 1984		Konstantin Chernenko succeeds Yuri Andropov as USSR leader
February 13th 1985		Polish police arrests 7 Solidarity leaders
February 13th 1985		Dow Jones closes at 1297.92 (record high) after topping 1300 earlier
February 13th 1987		Tigers' Jack Morris awarded $1.85 million salary by arbitrator
February 13th 1988		Ronald Weigel runs unofficial world record speed walking (18:11.41)
February 13th 1988		Heike Dreschler long jumps world record indoor (7.37m)
February 13th 1988		European Community plans removal of inner boundaries on Jan 1, 1992
February 13th 1988		Christine Wachtel runs world record 800m indoor (1:56:40)
February 13th 1988		15th Winter Olympic games open at Calgary, Canada
February 13th 1989		Kidnapped Belgian Premier Vanden Boeynants freed
February 13th 1989		Salvadoran army attacks Encuentros hospital, rapes, kills patients
February 13th 1989		Oklahoma football player Charles Thompson is charged with selling cocaine; he is later sentenced to 2 years in prison
February 13th 1990		US, England, France & England give Germany OK to reunify
February 13th 1990		Larry Bird (Celtics) ends NBA free throw streak of 71 games

News

February 8, 2008 - 10:18AM

Sony Australia said it stood by the quality of its PSP after one of the handheld games consoles overheated in a 12-year-old boy's pocket in the United States, leaving him with second-degree burns to the leg.

read it ll here .. http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/boy-burnt-by-melting-game-player/2008/02/08/1202234120827.html

Joke

Love this one :-)

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would
like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an
hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble
task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

Joke

A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
A graduate with a Law degree asks, "Who gave it a permission to work?"
A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

Joke

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."

"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"

"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

MP3

Oh my MP3 player retired today now I am in two minds if I should get another or not.
Some of them are so expensive, and if you are going to get one you have to make sure it's a good one.
The new ipod looks pretty good but there are lots of brands out there to chose from

Oh well I will make up my mind tomorrow after a little more searching on here

Do any of you use an MP3 player? I used mine lots for school would listen to music while I worked lol
I also would have my memory sticks with me which are really handy with lots of space to load onto it for home work etc
They are really handy even for use in the library so many uses for them I couldn't mention everything there useful for!

okay enough dribbling on will catch you all later good night :-)

Cow Udder Baby Bottle

Don't think I would like any of my kids to start there life out with a bottle like this ek

Think I would stick with the breast somehow its more appealing than the cow udder

Just my opinion :-)

Health

I am thinking of giving this alternative medicine a try! the only thing is it's very expensive , so if anyone reading my posts knows anything bout Ayurveda treatment I would love to hear from you THANKS ;-)

A couple of nice scenic images

True motivation comes from within -
from the willingness to see a dream fulfilled -
from the desire to leave the world better than you found it.

- Steve Brunkhorst

Interesting maybe

What next!

Online Memorials Australia - funeral notices, tributes, obituaries, memorials, geneology, Australia.
In memory of your loved ones.

With memorials and obituaries to 5408 loved ones

Post Funeral Notices, Messages of your Sympathy, Memories and Anecdotes for adding to this site by emailing: http://www.onlinememorials.com.au/ I think I would find this too impersonal in the case of the death of a loved one Just my opinion

News

Listening to the news on the radio earlier and it said, two pilots had been stabbed on an Air New Zealand flight in a foiled hijacking attempt. And this was a woman from Blenheim, originally from Somalia.

Both pilots were taken to hospital with the stab wounds but I haven’t heard any more since so far.

Heck what next I can’t for the life of me work out what they honestly get out of theses act’s of terrorism. The Koran doesn’t teach this no matter what these people say

Just have a little read and anyone can see it’s not a hatred book terrorists have just taken there interpretation which I so wrong!

Oh well that’s our life for you

These last few months I really haven’t done much!

What with panic anxiety and depression I could say I haven’t been myself

But that would be a bit of an understatement

Some days I haven’t even got dressed I have a shower and put clean PJs on

I have tried everything to overcome the three curses,

But just seem to sink a little lower each day

I think what makes me so angry is I have no idea what started any of it off

This week I have lost my key card, mind you I haven’t been over the door

Where it has gone I haven’t got a clue, and I had no reason to have it out my purse.

I take an antidepressant which obviously isn’t helping me much

Maybe the fact that I don’t like antidepressants (I think they are dangerous) I may have in my subconscious that fact so therefore I block them from working on me

Oh I don’t know it’s all guess work, all I know is how I feel and that’s crap.

I pretend to be happy,
But that's not how I feel.
I try to focus on the pain;
It's the only thing that's real.

I am not all right,
And I try to be strong.
I'm not okay
As I sometimes let on.

I drew a smile on my face,
Hiding my breaking heart.
I have so many things to say,
But I don't know where to start.

I feel so empty,
And I am so alone.
And here you wonder
Why my heart's made of stone.

I've been lying to myself
For ever so long,
That this will get better,
And I need to be strong.

By Bella

Poems

Hope Is the Thing With Feathers

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all,

By Emily Dickinson

This is a shambles how can people be expected to live in such a mess

Amazing the way this has been done

Jokes

javascript:void(0)
Publish Post

The Doctor
Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash
( Read this one ALOUD - it's GREAT! )

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gouse.
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

WELL! That certainly clears things up for ME.



Copyright © 2005 by Gene Ziegler.

Good night everyone :-)

Joke